Archive for August, 2009
This morning, as usual, was pressed for time. It would be my "thinking 9 to 5, especially at the beginning and woke up late. Instead, run by more than it already, I was, I'd take the time to finish my" prepare for the rituals of work "in the car. Still I saw many others do in my mirror and next to me in the car the same, why can not I?
Then I took my things and ran to the car and began the journey from 32 minutes to work. When I brush my teeth, I realized I had no place to spit out that the toothpaste has accumulated-foam in my mouth. I rolled down the window and drooled masterfully from the inside of my car. Crest and saliva dripping from inside the door of my car on the power lock and window switches. At least my car has a fresh ...
When an adult suffers from а child's illness, pain is extraordinary. How did it end of Soviet times, when I caught measles, for three days in bed with a fever of 40 degrees and the heat would die. But then came a medical diagnosis of rubella, led me to a specialist in the life of a few days.
I will never forget those three days - a terrible headache, mist as a whole because of the high temperatures and in three days, not the idea, but the quick death and wanted to. In the hospital I met a man over 50 who told me his story. In addition to being the first story.
I am no longer young, and all my fellow club age often begin to complain of illnesses - some have an ulcer, others - problems of pressure, etc., and I feel like an idiot and can not hold the ...
It really hurt sometimes but funny as well and I had a great time watching people make their most most careless moves and they really look funny. I hope you do understand and watch this video very carefully! Thank you and have a great time!
You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this article as my take on them back in 1970 when filling white space for our high school paper. Watch a few soap operas for the next few days and see for yourself how closely they resemble soap operas 36 years ago…
And now for that thought provoking question that plagues men’s souls unceasingly through the bright shining of the day and through the untold dark depths of the night:
Why did Peter, who in reality is actually Superman, fake that he stubbed his toe on the 17th stone on the sidewalk starting at 4th and Grand instead of the 16th stone, which was bigger and more logically the victim of that invulnerable toe and why did ...
While Marco Polo, the Venetian, is generally credited with the discovery of noodles in China, recent research suggests that Italian pasta in all its glorious variety was discovered in Rome, almost a century earlier, and slightly by accident, however unlikely epicureans Amplonius named Julius, with the help of a barbaric invasion klunk call, La Grande.
The event took place one evening, when the fat patrician eating in a restaurant next to the Roman Forum. It enjoys a sip of red wine from Tuscany, where a group of citizens concerned about the race has come screeching, "are barbarians! Barbarians are coming!"
Amplonius witnessed his arrival, before, and now he has made peace with the ancient wisdom, "Eat, drink and be happy for tomorrow, that outside of food and wine." Stoicism was the wiser were able to witness the destruction of the Roman Empire, while maintaining a bit of peaceful life. Therefore, with a ...
I’ve never thought of myself as a brave man, but it’s nice to know if you’ll be able to handle yourself in a dangerous situation. One morning on my drive to work such an occasion occurred. I was cruising down the road and singing off-key to the radio when I suddenly had the gut wrenching feeling that I wasn’t alone. I could sense the presence of evil even before I saw the black, beady eyes and the long, fang-like teeth that would have chilled the blood of a navy seal.
I swerved the car like a madman, not caring about my own well-being or the safety of others as I tried to disgorge from my car this demonic creature from the depths of hell. But the brute held on! Clinging to my wiper blades like a trapeze artist was a mouse. And I’m not talking Mickey Mouse here, this mouse was ...
One of the best and funniest April Fool’s tricks was invented and played by me last year. I should say that my friend and me used to make fun of each other regularly on April Fool’s Day with varying success. That is my friend was on his guard and knew he should be ready for my dirty tricks, which made the task almost impossible to carry out.
Last year not long before April Fool’s Day Andrey returned from Canada, where he’d been on a business trip (both of us work as translators of English for one company but on different floors). On April 1st I called Andrey, having arranged beforehand that the telephone girl should interrupt our conversation in a couple of minutes and say that Mr. Andrey Polyarov has a call from Canada. After that she put him through with another telephone in our room, and I quickly answered it. ...
Before you read any further, please note that this is not a piece out to damage or cut down the important role of women in our society. Read below only as humor and nothing more. These are intended solely for a good laugh.
Women are unique in many ways (and by this I mean different than men) and its this specific uniqueness or certain traits that I refer to when likening a woman to a personal computer. Do not get offended; it is intended to create a smile.
1) A woman is like a computer in that she costs more than you thought it would.
2) A woman resembles a personal computer in that she will not do exactly what you thought it will.
3) After a while, you simply cannot do without both: your computers and your woman.
4) Computers are just like women: after you have gotten used to them and cannot do ...
Funny jokes with people... There are always things that can really make you laugh even trough your hardest times. Take your problems away and try to laugh with the video I posted. I am sure you will!
DONOTCHANGE
Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at defying the inevitable. I stare 'The Inevitable' in the face and call him dirty names. I say, if you want to stop working, STOP WORKING; I'll even give you 5 reasons why you should.
1. If you stop working you'll have more time to devote to reading my articles, columns, and lists. This will enable me to become a household name down at the Unemployment and Welfare offices. My fame is a small price to pay for you living your dreams. Think about this when you see me on the 'Today Show'.
2. Quitting your job will make you feel wonderful. For about 10 minutes you'll be on cloud nine, you'll be on top of the ...