While Marco Polo, the Venetian, is generally credited with the discovery of noodles in China, recent research suggests that Italian pasta in all its glorious variety was discovered in Rome, almost a century earlier, and slightly by accident, however unlikely epicureans Amplonius named Julius, with the help of a barbaric invasion klunk call, La Grande.
The event took place one evening, when the fat patrician eating in a restaurant next to the Roman Forum. It enjoys a sip of red wine from Tuscany, where a group of citizens concerned about the race has come screeching, “are barbarians! Barbarians are coming!”
Amplonius witnessed his arrival, before, and now he has made peace with the ancient wisdom, “Eat, drink and be happy for tomorrow, that outside of food and wine.” Stoicism was the wiser were able to witness the destruction of the Roman Empire, while maintaining a bit of peaceful life. Therefore, with a smile, Julius merely raised his glass to the crowd fleeing.
“What are you going to do, Julie, and stay there to eat?” A citizen who knew very well posed.
“Why not?” He replied. “I’m thirsty. Not to mention hungry.” In this regard, it is doing in another flavor of Tuscan red.
“You’re crazy!” A friend called speeding. “Run, Julie! Run!”
Just then a waitress who has doubled as a temptress noon arrived with Julie, who could be described as a proto-pasta dish. It consisted of a flat, round piece of dough that hang just above the margin of the plate. He had a reunion of tomato baked in the middle of it, with a single piece of Parmesan cheese on his side, and around them was a crown of fragrant basil leaves.
“Enjoy your plan,” she says, making the antenna, which is the name of the proto-pasta was known.
“Thank you, wonderful,” said his Jules, and gave him a pinch.
“Oh, you silly man,” she said, and research, seemed nervous. “Can you do me a favor, love, and about his bill now?”
“No problem, you sex kitten,” he said, and came to his portfolio. Took quite Roman coins include a generous tip. “Keep the change,” he said, his lips and continued hope.
“Thanks, dear,” he said, and gave him a succulent, but always in a brief kiss. After hastily after the fleeing citizens.
Julius quietly took a knife and fork and began eating his proto-pasta.
Like cut and enjoy their first bite, they rushed in a large fur covered with barbaric, with a leather coat and the fateful sword with which the paste is found in July in a large number of varieties that we have until date, lasagna angel hair.
“Uh!” Grunt and he raised his sword.
July after dinner. “Uh! Uh!” Barbares hit sound “eh”, composed of every day a large portion of its range of proto-language. To attract the attention of the undisturbed dinner, he threw his sword in a circle and just passed out to trick the head of a large statue of Augustus. That crashed on the marble floor.
July can not fail to note the decapitation and placing a basil leaf on the tongue, said: “It was not very pleasant. I liked this kind of statue.”
The barbarians can not, of course, understand a word. In an effort to create a little goodwill, at least long enough so you can finish your meal, Julio took his bottle of wine. “Like some wine?”
“Uh-Huh!” Barbara has to say.
“Whatever,” said Julie. “You have a name?”
Barbarians have studied without understanding.
“Name?” Julius repeated, pointing to himself and then the barbarians to illustrate the point of your question.
“Klunk,” said the barbarian.
“You might have thought,” said Julius.
“Klunk, The Grand,” barbarism has continued, with some effort.
“It’s good for you,” he said in July, and put his hand. “I am in July, La Romana, also known as Julie, Le Grand. Sit down.”
“Eh, eh! I am conqueror – conqueror of Rome!” Klunk able to say.
“Good for you!” Julie said, and could not resist asking the most difficult. “Are you sure you can pay child support? This is an expensive city to maintain.”
“What is the interview?” Klunk wanted.
“You see,” he advised in July. “Now, come on. Have a seat. You had a rough day.” Then he made his apartment and shows a reluctant willingness to share some of their food. And have a plan. ”
Klunk under the board, and asked: “What’s the plan?”
“You do not know?” Julie asked. “Where were you?”
“The other side of the Alps”, managed to leave klunk.
“Oh, this is not surprising,” said Julie, and decided to educate the poor soul. “See. It is a dish. Never heard of a dish?”
“Silver?
“Instead of food on the table or the floor, eating off a plate.”
“Uh,” said klunk with apparent understanding.
“Now, on the plate, put a piece of baked pasta dish, called the plan”, continued in July, lifting the edge with a fork to prove. “So we have all sorts of good things about it. In this case, a tomato, a slice of cheese, and basil leaves.
“Uh-huh. Klunk acknowledged.
“Just take a knife and fork,” says Julio, choose the items slowly, so do not confuse klunk his intentions and his head to send the song to the great marble head of Augustus. “So we cut a piece.” He has the whole process and took a bite. “Ah, good! Of course, not you?”
“Uh-huh, klunk said, holding his ground and repeated with a little effort,” Plane. ”
“Excellent!” Julius said. “You are a true Roman in no time!”
“Klunk – a novel?” Barbarians replied, visibly insulted, and raised his sword in July. Then, unexpectedly, put the sword on the board and the right plan to cut in half. “Now, what do you say?” He was somehow able to ask.
July of the two half-moons, and said: “I think what a great name agnolotti. Then took another sip of wine and smiled at klunk.
Outraged by their inability to scare Julius, who raised his sword again and Whacked plate three or four times. “What word?”
July looked and said: “I’m going to call the lasagna.” With that, he took a bite and enjoy it.
Now furious, klunk repeatedly attacked the board and asked, “What is it called now?”
July, despite the indifference to their fate, was a little shaken by the accident and said: “I will appoint linguine.
Needless to say klunk spent his sword to the plate with an unprecedented barrage of gunfire. “What now?”
Julius mixed review on your plate. For now, the plan was cut into thin strips, was diced tomato and shredded cheese. After the debate, in July said: “You do what I call spaghetti.” Remains very quiet, at least externally, Julio took his fork and spaghetti wound around it. Then he took a bite. Delicioso! And fun, too, “said klunk.
Furious seemingly imperturbable in its true Roman barbarism has reduced the content of the plate until the arms were a real blur. So, short of breath, she sighed: “Tell me what you think of the name.”
Julius looked up the destruction of their board. Now the dough is as thin as he could imagine, and tomato sauce, cheese and basil are mixed. “It’s so thin I think that name is angel hair.”
Klunk unexpectedly became curious and bent to Julius. “Angel hair why? You angel. You Fat Roman.
Given the way the plan now finely sliced, Julio could not imagine how long it might invite the attentions of her neck and klunk imagined it could be the next target of the fury of the barbarians. Never smart Roman, said that after klunk effort, her womb was showing a little.
Julie is also, of course, aware of the weakness of the legendary barbarian shield, in contrast to the metal shield that represent much of the opacity of the Roman history phalanx.
We intended to move the knife towards the last piece of decent-sized tomato, saying: “No, my friend, I am not an angel.” With this, stabbed and slightly exhausted klunk added: “You This is about to become one.”
Klunk looked at his sudden and deadly wound with shock and fell to the floor with a thud. His head hit the table and, if Julius hands are not as fast, the movement changed its glass of wine.
Leaning back and enjoy a drink, said: “I think I’m going to call all these things I discovered after my beautiful girlfriend, PASTINA. Then he rolled a little in its holder, and the show in another bite, music, “I love PASTINA.”
All the names of Julius invented today, with the assistance of the unfortunate barbarians klunk certainly have lasted for centuries without change except for the categories of description, which over time reduce the more familiar word “pasta”.